Burning Bridges are Hard to Cross

Last year at this time it seemed like conflict was all around me and there wasn’t much I could do about it. I was burning more bridges than I was building with no end in site. From friends to close relatives, relationships were breaking down everywhere .Various people had offended or wronged me in various ways and I wasn’t taking any of it lying down. After a few months of such incidents there was need to patch things up. It wasn’t fun but it had to happen. Family is family and you will always have them, so you might as well get a long with them. Good friends are hard to find and even the best ones will upset you from time time time

In the business world whether you are self-employed or fighting your way through the rat race., you never know what bridges you might need again in the future. People that you can’t stand today, might be your best client a couple years from now… or they might be your boss. Or perhaps just a coworker and that working relationship will be a lot smoother without a volatile history between you and the other person.

I would never suggest that you allow yourself to be walked all over for the sake of preserving a failed relationship. On the contrary, you need to stand up for yourself but do so in the proper time and place. A series of offenses may be a sign of a good time to bail out of a relationship but before you set that bridge on fire maybe you should try a different approach. Sometimes it’s better to just go around the bridge or use a different bridge rather than burning the offending one.

For example many people find themselves in relationships whether it be friends, coworkers or family members where you feel the need to share with the other person things that are going on in your life. That person then uses that information in a way that hurts you. You’re upset, can’t understand why they would do such a thing, and a month later you repeat the entire cycle because you are family and families don’t treat each other that way…wrong. This kind of thing is seen most often in a parent-child relationship that is dysfunctional, especially when the child has been an adult for some time. You could go at the offender guns blazing tell em how it is in an attempt to finally make them understand what a jerk they are or you could simply stop the cycle yourself. Don’t share the kind of information with them that they consistently use against you. I’m not saying lie to people, I’m simply saying don’t volunteer information that isn’t necessary. A lot of times when I’ve seen this situation play out it is often with volunteered information that was never even asked for. Simply stop talking or at least discipline yourself enough to stop and think before you share whatever it is you think you need to share with the frequent offender.

The fact is that even if you think you want someone out of your life and you don’t care how badly you burn that bridge, you truly don’t know what tomorrow holds. You don’t know what your situation might be and who you may need to rely on for help. So unless it is a matter of your personal well being being threatened or that of others, then it’s usually best to leave the bridge intact. You don’t need to worry about crossing it right now, but if you don’t burn it to the ground at least you know you’ll have the opportunity to use it in the future should the need arise.

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